2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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