I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize