You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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