He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
