no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
this is an emotional support booty call
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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