The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize