Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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