why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
