By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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