allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
