I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
