2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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