I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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