So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
