i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
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Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
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If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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