she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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