Please, let me fuck your mom
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize
