why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
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