Pappa wants mamma naked
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
