"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
