For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
