How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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