Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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