I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
it glows. i had to have it.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
