I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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