i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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