Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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