If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
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Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
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Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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