theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Randomize
