**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
