oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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