Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
