My sheets look like a crime scene.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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