I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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