i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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