so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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