i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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