So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
