"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Randomize