Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize