So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
