i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
