pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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