please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
