He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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