grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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