dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
