I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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