the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
