We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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