new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
