i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
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