We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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