normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
