No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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