he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
