Buhtt sex?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
