That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Randomize
