I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
