A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Randomize
